The only Hacker I've ever liked

Hackers!  Don’t you just hate them?  Late last week a couple of people got in touch to say that a search for this blog  not only showed my posts on employment law but also an invitation to buy viagra.

Now, whilst times may be hard and pressure on solicitors’ fees ever more intense, I haven’t yet diversified into selling viagra, or any other such products, to supplement my income.  I suppose in these post-ABS days there’s no reason why one couldn’t of course, but it’s not really the done thing, is it?

So, I have spent some time (and money) installing and upgrading some security for the site.  I have run scans, altered passwords and done some other stuff which, I hope, means the site is now clean.  However, a Google search still produces the message “this site may be compromised”.  I hope it isn’t. I don’t think it is but, being a lawyer, I can offer you no warranty, representation or undertaking that it is.

It’s been a wake up call and thanks to all those people who let me know there was a problem and to Rick Cooper and Laurie Anstis for practical suggestions to solve the problem.

Related posts:

1. Compromised Agreement?

Warning: This Site May be Compromised originally appeared on Jobsworth by Michael Scutt on 21/05/2012.

Given all the rain we’re having at the moment it may seem inappropriate to write about the Sun, but come the 1st September I hope he’ll have his hat on and if not playing, at least putting in an appearance. For on that day I will be cycling, walking and canoeing for charity in an event called “Race the Sun” in the Lake District.

Thirlmere from the top of Helvellyn

It’s a 50 mile cycle ride, a stiff walk up Helvellyn (2nd highest mountain in England) and a short, but no doubt taxing, canoe around Thirlmere. The race starts at dawn and you have to be back by sunset, hence racing the sun. It’s not the cycling or the hiking that concerns me so much as the canoeing, as it’s something I haven’t done much of. Thankfully all but five miles of the biking is on road.

Like most of these events, it is a fund raiser for charity, in this case Action for Medical Research (AMR), which funds research into medical treatment for babies and children.

I’m doing it as part of a team – “Back B4-9” – and we need to raise £2,000 to be able to take part. My team mates are Nick Lofthouse, Warwick Wyatt (a personal trainer, so he should be ok doing it) and Erol Osman. We all attend a breakfast networking club called, funnily enough, B4-9. The name chose itself really…

Back B49 team to raise £2000 for charity. http://t.co/wXMV1YSWThe team is @WarwickWyatt @NickLofthouse @michaelscutt and Erol Osman

23/04/2012 11:18 am via Twitter for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite

@B49Business

B49 Business Network

 I have a sponsorship page both team and personal – click here – and, of course, any donations you care to make will be gratefully received. My good friend and colleague Jill Watson, was kind enough to kick off the sponsorship. Jill is due to give birth shortly – so I suppose I shouldn’t complain about the pain of a nice cycle ride in the country.

I’m determined to put in a respectable showing come race day so have been building up the training. Yesterday the team got wheeling over to Hemel Hempstead and return again, a distance of approximately 35 miles, with a couple of steep hills en route. I never knew Harpenden was so hilly; it’s like the Alps, only with more BMWs and less snow. I had my usual puncture, the third in as many rides: I’m getting quite adept at repairing them now.

 It’s the canoeing I need to work on. Is there anyone out there who could lend me a kayak for, say, 6 months?!  I’ll do an update from time to time on our training.

We need to raise £2,000 so we can do it, so all donations will be very gratefully received so, please, if you can, Back B4-9!

Related posts:

1. Race Discrimination and Redundancy

Race The Sun 2012 originally appeared on Jobsworth by Michael Scutt on 24/04/2012.

If you came to this post expecting a defence of bankers and their bonuses or an erudite explanation of why the City isn’t to blame for the country’s economic woes, I’m sorry to disappoint you.  I thought it time to have a break from employment law and go off piste, as they say. If I wasn’t a lawyer I’d like to be an historian and that is what this post is, sort of, about. Many commuters gripe about the trouble getting into the City; late and crowded trains, the cost of a season ticket and not seeing enough of the family during the week, to name but a few.  And there’s no doubt that it can be a drag. But, lots of things make up for it. More pubs, bars and restaurants and gyms than you could shake a stick at, not to mention recitals in churches, proximity to the West End and all its theatres and shops. However, there is something beyond even that lot.

It’s the sense of history being all around you that you simply don’t get working in Hatfield or Basingstoke (and I have).  This in itself is a paradox because the developers are forever pulling a building down or refurbishing somewhere else. On my 10 minute walk from Moorgate station (now the site of one of the Crossrail stations now under construction) to my office in Lombard Street,  (see picture right). I don’t think there has been a time when there hasn’t been at least one major building development going on at some point. My usual thing is to rush to or from the office, dodging other people, potholes in the pavements and traffic in the road, but every now and then I like to stop and look at what is actually around me. Sometimes I even take a photo on my phone, which can give rise to looks of alarm or bemusement from other pedestrians, some of whom must think I’m certifiably insane.

It’s worth running that risk though because within a radius of about two minutes walk from my office, there is a wealth of fascinating buildings, monuments, curios and other items. It also pops up in literature and, for instance, nearby Gracechurch Street, is mentioned disparagingly in Pride and Prejudice thus

Mr. Darcy may, perhaps, have heard of such a place as Gracechurch Street, but he would hardly think a month’s ablution enough to cleanse him from its impurities, were he once to enter it;

In Austen’s time the City was seen as a disreputable place where no real gentleman would tread. Plus ca change plus ca meme chose, perhaps?

TS Eliot wrote about the Hawksmoor Church, St Mary Woolnoth in his seminal poem The Wasteland (“April is the cruellest month” etc

A crowd flowed over London Bridge, so many,
I had not thought death had undone so many.
Sighs, short and infrequent, were exhaled,
And each man fixed his eyes before his feet.
Flowed up the hill and down King William Street,
To where Saint Mary Woolnoth kept the hours
With a dead sound on the final stroke of nine.

St Mary Woolnoth is at the end of Lombard Street, now hemmed in by Starbucks, EAT and Gymbox.   Rather quaintly a man on a mobile coffee bicycle has set up in residence outside, dispensing Illy coffee. I remember studying The Waste Land for A-level English literature and very absorbing it was too.  However, The Rise and Fall of Reginald Perrin says the same thing more humoursly, in my view.

Wander back down King William Street and you will alight upon the Monument, erected to commemorate the Great Fire of London in 1666 and very impressive it is at 61metres high (311 steps to the top).  Despite having worked less than five minutes walk from it for nearly ten years I have never been to the top. I intend to remedy that this year, especially as it is now open again following a long refurbishment.  The trouble is, I’m not keen on heights.

This might be the solution. See the video below for a view from the top;

If you look carefully enough there are lots of relics of the past.  For instance, just round the corner from my office is the Jamaica Inn, an old pub tucked away in a little maze of streets at the back of St Michael’s Cornhill.  Next to that is an oasis of green, a patch of lawn where office workers can eat their lunches on the benches. Nearby is the George & Vulture restaurant where Dickens used to visit and is mentioned in The Pickwick Papers. It’s miraculous that this area survived the bulldozers.

On Birchin Lane, which runs alongside my office, there is a memorial plaque to a Captain Binney who was brutally killed whilst trying to prevent a robbery from a nearby jewellers. Sadly his was not the only violenbt death to occur in this area; more recently the newspaper vendor Ian Tomlinson died  during the 2009 G20 protests on Cornhill.

Finally for this blog post, and still on Cornhill, a most curious relic from the past: a water pump with a trough underneath for people to water their horses.  Sadly no longer in use it is a prominent object which people march past every day never giving it a second glance.  It could do with some restoration and as you can see from the picture below, it is rather old.  I love the idea of walking past something funded by the East India Company.  It’s a direct link back to all those school history lessons, Clive of India and all that.

The other side of the Pump states how it was a replacement for an earlier pump and there has been a well on the site since the 1100s. I’m amazed it wasn’t removed in the 1960s by some modernisation plan, or because it was deemed to pose a threat to health and safety.  But very glad that it has and long may it.

That’s it for this time.  In due course, probably when the weather gets better I’ll get out again and cover some more notable sites.

No related posts.

In Praise of the City originally appeared on Jobsworth by Michael Scutt on 12/02/2012.

For some light relief, take a look at the the 25 Top Oddball Interview Questions of 2011, as compiled by Glassdoor.com, a website that allows people to say what they really think about the company they work for.  These questions were ones that were really asked in interviews, apparently.  My favourite  (and I say that sitting here in the comfort of my own home and not sweating in an interview) is “Just entertain me for five minutes. I’m not going to talk”.  How would I answer? Nervous laugh?  A song and dance routine. Tell the guy he’s a complete ar*e and walk out?  I don’t know and I hope I never have to provide that answer.

Nor would I want to prove that Germans are the tallest people in the world, or If I was a Microsoft Office program which one would I be?  One question which put me in mind of the dreaded employee of the month award was “If you could be #1 employee but have all your coworkers dislike you or you could be #15 employee and have all your coworkers like you, which would you choose?”.  Tricky.  Almost as tricky as how you’d get an elephant into a refrigerator. Potential answer? “Bovvered? Do I look bovvered?”

The one I’d feel happiest answering though is “If you could be a superhero, what power would you possess?”.  My answer?  The power to detect bullsh*t well in advance.

Try as I might I can’t think of any witty or pithy responses to any of these questions.  I’m sure my fear of being out of work, whilst motivated at least 90% by wondering how to pay the mortgage is also a fear of having to sit in an interview and try and be polite whilst facing cretinous questions like these. Apparently George Melly, the late great Jazz singer once was cornered by a group of thugs intent on beating him up.  He managed to escape by loudly  reciting a Dada -ist poem that convinced his would be assailants that he must be deranged, so they left him alone.  It seems like a good idea to me.

The subject of complete nonsense takes me nicely on to Lucy Kellaway’s most recent podcast. It’s only 5 minutes long and well worth listening to – click here  Listen to Lucy – The Guff Awards 2011

In it Lucy reveals her choices for the most vacuous bit of corporate jargon from the last year – mission statements, promises to give 100,000% to the job and so forth.  She also gives an award for the best (ie worst) euphemism for redundancy.  The company  concerned announced that it was “managing for value”.

Related posts:

1. 10 questions to ask if you’re made redundant

Oddball Interview Questions & Other Guff originally appeared on Jobsworth by Michael Scutt on 11/01/2012.

I always enjoy the week between Christmas and New Year; it gives me the chance to do all those jobs that I’ve wanted to do around the house and to wade into the pile of books and novels I collect throughout the year and never quite get chance to read. This year has been no different and in amongst all the festivities I’ve managed to make some inroads into the reading list.  A case in point is the first novel by Selma Dabbagh, a British Palestinian writer, called Out of It.  It makes for a very uncomfortable, although very readable experience (if that isn’t a contradiction in terms).

It’s main focus is Gaza and the enduring conflict between Palestinians and Israel mainly seen through the eyes of a brother (Rashid) and his twin sister (Iman), both 27 years old. Probably like a lot of people in the West I don’t pay as much attention to what is going on in Gaza as I should, but the power of this novel is how it manages to portray the awful conditions in Gaza and the sense of hopelessness better than many news or TV reports. It has a power and immediacy that “the truth”, as reported by news media, often lacks.

There is an extra layer of interest in this book for me as well: Dabbagh is a practising lawyer, who trained with Fisher Meredith and now currently works part time with Hickman & Rose, a firm of criminal and human rights solicitors based in Clerkenwell. She has advised clients who were injured and detained by Israeli forces in the Gaza Flotilla in 2010.

The characters are all vividly drawn and believable, if not especially likeable. There is no sentimentality in this book: it does genuinely read like a “fly on the wall” account. Rashid is frequently literally “out of it” through smoking marijuana and then he secures a scholarship to study in London. Iman returns to Gaza from studying in Switzerland anxious to “make a difference” and not content just to be a member of a worthy committee cum talking shop, such as she finds at the Women’s Committee on her return. The women don’t take to her as an outsider. For a while it looks like Iman wants to be not just out of Gaza but out of life as well.  Displacement, appropriately enough for a book that deals with the Palestinian situation, is a constant theme in this book. Making it a theme in a novel as well written as this brings home the desperation of the Palestinian people better than any facts or figures can.

The family is (or was) wealthy with political connections, but the father has escaped to a Gulf State which sounds suspiciously like Dubai.  He was involved politically until he was humiliated into leaving and taking up a life of Western comfort, much to his daughter’s disgust. They were all previously in Switzerland and Paris and, for Rashid, isolated from his family through his waning interest  in  the Palestinian struggle, unlike his elder, disabled, brother, Sabri, who spends his days researching and writing a book about the intifada. The mother holds a dark secret about her past which only slowly gets revealed as you read through the book.

This is a powerful book, tightly written, partisan and unsentimental. The Israelis are clearly the enemy and there is, unsurprisingly, nothing in the book to recognise the security threat posed to them. For instance, at one point Sabri, tells an English peace campaigner struggling to make sense of it all the following;

‘It’s not something you can ever “get straight in your head”… ‘It’s too wrong to be justified, too screwed up to be straightened out. If you force yourself to understand it in any way that leads you to justify it then you are fucked and we are lost“

 But this is a novel and why not be partisan?  It is a book about experience – terrifying experience – such as when Iman sees someone she knows blown apart by a missile from an Israeli drone.  At the beginning of the book the Israelis conduct a terrifying air-raid in retaliation for a failed Palestinian suicide bomber; overwhelming force used to destroy a hospital which dismembers and kills a little boy known to Iman, fuelling her hatred of the enemy.   It demonstrates  the futility of the Israeli “eye for an eye. tooth for a tooth” policy.

However, the novel is not partisan to the extent of ignoring the problems in Palestinian politics.  Frequent mention is made of the corruption of the “leadership”, a shadowy body that seems to exist without any explained democratic process. Hamas is not mentioned by name but that may be who Dabbagh is referring to in the book as the “Outside Leadership”.  Another example is how one of the family’s neighbours, Abu Omar, a man not widely liked by anyone, is suddenly “arrested” one day and taken away in the same way that used to happen in Stalin’s Soviet Union. The Gazans then are not portrayed as a plucky heroic people fighting outrageous oppression but instead as a people simply oppressed and subjected to appalling injustice, both from without and within.

It’s a book with many themes and layers, political and personal.  There is the conflict between different nations and between different family members. It’s also a book about rites of passage – Iman has been ensconsed in the struggle for so long that she seems to have no life of  her own. Her father’s girlfriend urges her to “concentrate on developing herself as a woman”, code for getting a boyfriend and a life away from Gaza.  Rashid has a failed relationship with an English girl who only wants him because of the credibility it gives her when campaigning with a pro-Palestinian body in London.

Does it provide any answers to the intractable dispute in the Middle-East? No, but it’s a powerful first novel and well worth reading if you want any insight into the Palestinian crisis.

No related posts.

Book Review: Hopeless in Gaza? originally appeared on Jobsworth by Michael Scutt on 30/12/2011.

In the dog days of 2011, when all there is to do is eat cold turkey and chocolate (but not necessarily at the same time), I thought it time to give the old blog a make over.  I was a bit jaded with the old blue and grey colour scheme and wanted something minimalist that would fit in with the other two blogs I write – Troubleahead and UK BlawgRoundUp.  I like the cleanness of the white background, contrasting with black writing.  I’d also got fed up with seeing my mugshot in the sidebar.  I might get a new photo done in due course, but for the time being I’m going with the stripped down bare basics look. The old theme – Persephone – didn’t provide much design flexibility and altering the borders round photographs proved beyond my coding skills. The problem was the text font was very hard to distinguish from the background colour: not so anymore.

I decided to opt for Headway (on the advice of Tessa Shepperson, who helped set up the other two blogs) because it offers maximum flexibility over design.

It’s a premium theme – costing about £45 at current exchange rates and that is the basic purchase option.  I justify the purchase on the basis that it puts me in charge of the design, once I’ve got to grips with the design editor, and means I should be able to update it again when I want. It is also said to offer SEO advantages over other themes but I take this with a pinch of salt.

The design editor is the key selling point of Headway. You don’t need to understand CSS or html etc to be able to use it, although I suspect that probably would come in very handy. You also aren’t limited to choosing two or three column pre-set templates.  Headway uses a “drag and drop” system of grids and blocks so that you can put what you want where you want. I won’t pretend that I’ve got on top if it yet, but it promises flexibility for the future.

I’ve still got some tinkering to do with some of the widgets and various other bits and pieces, but please bear with me on this.  I’d welcome your comments on the new look as well.

I’m hoping to get another couple of posts up before the New Year. In the meantime I’m off to eat some more chocolate.

Related posts:

1. Happy New Year!

New Year, New Look originally appeared on Jobsworth by Michael Scutt on 28/12/2011.

Continuing the theme from my last post, I stumbled upon a picture of another employee forced to dress up for work. I don’t think this is quite as bad as forcing Father Christmas to promote Pizzas at road junctions, but it’s not far off.  Love it!

No related posts.

So You Think Your Job’s Bad? Part II originally appeared on Jobsworth by Michael Scutt on 01/12/2011.

Then think again. It could be a lot, lot worse. For instance, this morning (19th November – 35 shopping days to  Christmas) I saw Santa with a sandwich board advertising Dominos pizzas standing at a cross roads.

This prompted several questions, mainly from my 4 year old daughter who may still believe; such as “what is Santa doing standing there”, “why?” and “where are the reindeers?”.  My question was “what has Santa got to do with pizzas?”  Is it likely to make me rush out to Dominos and invest?  Unlikely and not just because I’m a food snob.

Mrs Jobsworth got quite enraged at the thought of someone getting paid a pittance to stand around all day at a traffic junction.

In November.

Then I stumbled on these next two images. Things can always be worse,

And on a similar theme,

Has anyone got any better photos? I’d like to see them.

No related posts.

So You Think Your Job’s Bad? originally appeared on Jobsworth by Michael Scutt on 19/11/2011.

The Bribery Act probably doesn’t outlaw breakfast “networking” meetings that just happen to coincide with rugby matches and take place near a large TV screen.  I’m always very keen on that sort of networking. Invitations to all rugby, cricket and football matches accepted.

On the way to the said networking meeting you can listen to Lucy Kellaway’s excellent podcast called, appropriately enough “Listen to Lucy”.  I’ve only recently discovered them and they are great: short, amusing, pithy but always worth a listen. Lucy’s theme is usually the nonsense surrounding corporate life – buzzwords, mission statements, public announcements, research etc.  Her latest considers a recent report that says teddy bears may be a benefit in the boardroom.  You can listen by clicking here.

Yesterday I came across a particularly nasty example of workplace harassment and bullying, where one employee continuously harrasses his colleague and makes his life a misery.  Click here to read the list of complaints made by the worker. See what you think and be sure to scroll down right to the end to the Justin Bieber photos, which are very funny (not that I’ve any real idea who Justin Bieber is). There were many other complaints by the unfortunate Simon Dempsey against the irrepressible David Thorne (I don’t know who he is either, perhaps I should get out more). This complaint was my favourite,

As @BillWillcocks said to me on Twitter trying to keep a straight face in the disciplinary meeting would have been very difficult.If you have excruciating stories of disciplinary offences please share them by leaving a comment on here.

Tonight sees the Last Night of the Proms (has anyone any spare tickets to the Royal Albert Hall?) which, to my mind apart from being a great night is also the end of summer.  It’ll soon be Christmas.

Have a good weekend.

No related posts.

Saturday Digressions originally appeared on Jobsworth by Michael Scutt on 10/09/2011.

The villain of the piece

Please forgive me for writing a second post on “Clarriegate” but leaving aside the actual issues of who what when etc, it occurred to me that the main focus of this story, to my mind anyway, is how a business can recover from a devastating blow like this. Is it possible at all and if they can survive will they have to rebrand to distance themselves from the “old business”?.

The aspect of the story that has really interested me was the discussion between Pat, Tony and Tom over whether to make a public statement and, later whether to and how to handle a radio interview.  Initially Pat and Tony didn’t want to make a statement, but were persuaded that they had to put their side of the story “out there” to counterbalance the negative publicity.  What they wanted to express was how sorry they were about the people who had been made ill.  That, of course, they couldn’t say, for fear of admitting liability. That’s usually the way, anodyne corporate statements that don’t really say anything, satisfies no one and just digs the business into a deeper hole.

 However, by a lucky stroke (remember this is  fiction after all) Environmental Health gave the dairy a clean bill of health so Pat  had a “good news” story to give in the interview, which she subsequently did and she was able to fully express her distress at what had happened, explaining that it was one isolated incident that caused the outbreak. It sounded convincing and heartfelt and I hope it proves to have been a success.

I think this has been one of the best story lines on the programme for a while: The Archers has been getting pretty tedious of late so well done the scriptwriters for upping their game.

 What next? This is my guess: the dairy will start producing again shortly, Clarrie will be welcomed back after much “should I or shouldn’t I resign” type talk, followed by a tearful rapprochement all round and the dairy will be rebranded to break the link. Everything will quieten down and then Pat and Tony will get sued in a product liability claim, which will be settled shortly before trial by way of mediation.  Watch this space or, better still, listen to the programme itself.

Related posts:

1. Should Clarrie be sacked?

Should Clarrie be Sacked Pt.II originally appeared on Jobsworth by Michael Scutt on 04/08/2011.